Healing Communication with Others - and Yourself
In this short Blog, we will explore how upbringing, culture, gender, and age shape the way we connect.When we think about communication, we often picture conversations with friends, family, or partners. But the most impactful communication is often the quiet, constant dialogue we have with ourselves.
In my work as a CBT therapist, counsellor, and holistic practitioner, I see daily how the way we communicate — both outwardly and inwardly — shapes our emotional health, our relationships, and even our physical wellbeing. Recently on The Aromacee Approach podcast, I explored how factors like upbringing, culture, gender, and age all influence this delicate dance of connection. Today, I’d love to expand on those ideas and share gentle ways you can start healing communication, with others and with yourself.
Many of us were subtly (or not so subtly) taught different communication rules based on gender. Phrases like “boys don’t cry” or “be a good girl and don’t cause a fuss” can echo for years. Similarly, as we age, we may find our communication needs change — we might crave more meaningful conversations, or find we have less patience for superficial exchanges.
Being mindful of these influences helps us meet ourselves — and others — with more compassion.
The way we speak to ourselves sets the tone for every other relationship. In CBT, we explore how automatic thoughts — often critical or fearful — can impact our emotions and behaviours.
Learning to pause, notice, and gently question these thoughts is a powerful way to change your internal dialogue.
🌷 Try this simple exercise:
When you catch a harsh inner statement (like “I always mess up”), pause and ask:
Is this absolutely true?
What would I say to a dear friend in this situation?
Because I work integratively, I love to pair these evidence-based strategies with holistic practices. Certain essential oils can be beautifully supportive here. For instance:
Chamomile or lavender: To soothe anxious energy before a difficult conversation.
Frankincense: To ground and centre, helping you feel more present.
Blue lace agate or amazonite crystals: Traditionally used to encourage clear, calm expression.
Creating a small ritual — holding a crystal, taking a few deep breaths with an oil blend, or journaling thoughts beforehand — can prepare both your mind and body for more mindful communication.
It’s normal to have moments where words fail us, or where our old patterns take over. Be gentle. The goal isn’t perfect communication, but authentic connection — with others, and with yourself.
If this resonates, I invite you to listen to the full episode on The Aromacee Approach podcast. We explore these ideas in a soothing six-minute reflection, perfect for a tea break or evening unwind.
✨ You can watch my NEW podcast the Aromacee Approach at https://aromacee.podbean.com/
Download the Communicate with Compassion Guide on the website store, follow me at www.instagram.com/aromaceee/ and join our community
Let’s continue to explore how we can speak, listen, and live more compassionately — together.
